All of these images are pretty old.. Say a couple of months. And I feel as if I've grown through them, but still there's some odd emotional attachment to the phase I was going through. As if, if that time had not happened, or I had not been through it, Id be a different person right now.
That"s exactly how I feel about everything else. Every moment, every word, every emotion, highs and lows, things that dawned upon me (at a certain time, which may or may not be calculated), every person, every expression and of course whatever I'm feeling at that moment and how I react to that. Also, many thoughts I have gotten, that later when I reflect on, I feel that if I had not gone through a certain something in the past, I would not be able to divert my mind to such a possibility.
Everything is so connected and precise, that sometimes I feel very intimidated by all that's around me, and of which - also - I am unaware of. Now coming to the main point: what keeps me/it going still?
Any sort of connection with God.
Whenever I've felt lost or confused, or anything of the sort for that matter, I just give it all up to the Creator of all things living. Who knows better than him, what's good or bad for us?
Not saying that everyone should just give up trying and leave everything up to God to fix and resolve (even when you know you're the one that messed up) and then after blame God for not being there for you.. How does that even make sense, anyway? Its very unfair, rather.
But, nonetheless, I have always felt that I don't spend enough time to become a better human being worthy of God's attention and interest. Period.